Artest to Rockets: Hilarity, Championship to Follow
by, Mike Mandlin

When the news broke that the Houston Rockets had acquired Ron Artest, I was ecstatic. I'm a huge Rockets fan, and acquiring Artest immediately makes them strong contenders. An All-NBA defender, Artest also gives the Rockets a scoring trio rivaled only by Boston, San Antonio, Phoenix, and the Lakers. My head is still spinning with the tactical merits of the deal, but I was also once the kind of kid who would take something from every container in the family bathroom, and half the stuff in the kitchen, stir it in a bowl, and hope for an explosion. As Ron Artest is the most batshit crazy player in NBA history, this trade is truly a frosted mini wheats experience for me.

Batshit Crazy

My favorite Ron Artest story comes from back in his rookie year. Apparently, he supports a lot of people, and bought them all kinds of electronics at Circuit City. So since the Bulls didn't practice on Sundays, Ron Ron applied for a part time job with Circuit City, so he could get the employee discount. The Bulls found out when Circuit City called them, because Artest had listed GM Jerry Krause, as a reference. Artest explained, "I thought it would be fun. And I had a friend who worked there." That story and his reaction more or less characterizes Ron Ron's entire career. He's there to have fun, and everything else is noise.

Artest has demonstrated many, many times that he has no idea what's appropriate and what isn't. Sometimes, it's kind of awesome, and sometimes it's kind of awesome as long as he's not on your team, like when he wanted to take time off to promote his CD; he didn't, and the Pacers briefly suspended for the request. Instead, he just shaved the name of his label, Tru Warrior, in his hair. Sometimes his Artestness is not awesome. The only thing funny about the clip is ever-annoying reporter Jim Gray's quavering voice. Even more illustrative than the brawl clip, Artest's disconnect is striking in this calm, composed interview he gave, a while after the incident. He doesn't even rationalize his actions; he explains them, without a hint of regret. The only time he sort of acknowledges that assaulting an asshole fan was a bad idea is, "I definitely should have passed, on that one." And of course, most ironically, discussing the beer-throwing fan, Artest explains, "You can talk all day, but you know, there's a line, people know that, you know, people know what they should and shouldn't do." The brawl is one of many...hiccups in Artest's career.

Tango and Cash

When he keeps the insane between his ears and out of the commissioner's office, Ron Ron's pretty awesome. I didn't know much about him, coming out of St. John's, just that Knicks fans were furious when the Knicks drafted Frédéric Weis (it's even better in French) instead of Artest, but I've been a big fan since he joined the league. I love watching great defense and Artest is masterful, with an inimitable style. The mostly annoying Charley Rosen called it best, a ways back, comparing Artest's defense to Michael Jordan's. There's not much finesse or craftiness to the method, just I'm stronger, faster, meaner, and hungrier, and you won't get past me. His superior athleticism that tenacity makes Artest an unsurpassed one-on-one defender. He also plays solid help defense, though not on the level of the NBA's other premier wing defender (and new Rockets teammate) Shane Battier. Team defense frequently entails playing off the ball, requiring constant recognition and adjustment to everything that's happening on the court. For the most part, Artest just smothers his guy. Here's a good example. At the end of the clip Manu Ginobili tries to take Artest to the rim (which Manu does as well as anyone in the game) but Artest, perpendicular to Ginobili, matches him stride-for-stride. Ron Ron's the Orlando Pace of the NBA, a quick-stepping wall.

One of the best things about this deal is that we'll get to watch Battier and Artest play together. Battier is the anti-Artest (in more ways than one) he's all craft. The guys Battier covers are almost always stronger and faster-though never more desirous-but they just don't seem to get around him much. Jonathan Feigen notes of Battier's chops: "A lot of times you see great scorers get good numbers on Battier then go 2 for 9, 1 of 6, in the fourth quarter because he is so relentless." Battier's a notch below Artest, one-on-one, but is unsurpassed as a team defender. It's going to be a lot of fun watching those two styles work their magic on the court at the same time, the Rocket's very own Tango and Cash.

He Scores Pretty Good, Too

Well, sort of. Artest is a very capable offensive player, but until he got to Sacramento, he was woefully inefficient. Before then, his career high FG% was .428 and his best three-point % was .336, both in '02-'03. In his first half-year in Sacramento, he was horrific, shooting 38% and 30% from three. But his next two seasons were vastly better, upping his career high FG% and three-point % in each year. He frequently praises former Sacramento and current Rockets head coach Rick Adelman, attributing much of his improvement to Adelman's coaching. Frankly, I don't care if it's Adelman or The Great Pumpkin; when Artest hits over 36% of his three-pointers, complimenting his excellent penetrating and finishing abilities, he's an extremely effective offensive player.

Fit in Houston

Artest can defend either forward spot, and nearly always has a strength or speed advantage over his opponent, so with Battier at the 3, the Rockets may well start Artest at power-forward. His rebounding, however, isn't power-forward material. Artest focuses so much on covering his own man, typically the opponent's best scorer, that he's busy challenging the shot, not boxing out to rebound the miss. With Yao Ming a good, but not great rebounder, and Battier and Tracy McGrady nothing special on the boards, lack of rebounding may be an issue for the Rockets, if Artest starts at the 4-spot. Feigen thinks Artest would be best coming off the bench as the 6th man, but getting starter minutes and finishing games, with Battier. I'm sort of leaning in that direction, myself. The Rockets already have two high-quality power-forwards, second year players, Luis Scola and Carl Landry, both good rebounders. Landry has even been used as a backup to Yao, in small lineups.

This much is clear, Artest is the third best player on the Rockets, and will be on the floor for at least 35 minutes a game, in one position or another. The Rockets will employ a variety of unusual lineups this year, at times going with McGrady at point, Artest and Battier the swingmen, and Landry or Scola at power-forward, with Yao being Yao, of course. On a team seasonally devastated by injuries to its two best players, now adding a third player who has managed to find his way off the court in various ways, too much depth is the best problem the Rockets can have. If that remains the case through the year, and Yao, TMac, and Ron Ron all manage to play 70+ games at, or close to, full strength, the Rockets will be champions.

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